Wow. Moving to California tomorrow. Bitter-sweet. But defiantly more sweet. Going to and through Canada for the first time on Monday. Then to Seattle for 3 days to see my family! Get to introduce my lady to the mom and brother. Eat some piroshki at Pikes Place, maybe some real French Crepes! Bomb Dot Com.

I’m leaving behind some awesome people. But I know they will keep this town running with out the sexiest woman alive… I think. I grew up here, so it’s easy to say goodbye. Does that even make sense? I think it does.

I’ve got more totes filled with random crap than I know what to do with! But it’s MY random crap. So I’ll lug it around America for a while. It’s so hard for me to get rid of the simplist things. Like receipts. Why do I want to keep every receipt? I think it’s a memory thing… Stumbling upon a wore out piece of paper that you can hardly read…. Then smiling because you remember the exact smell of that day. I love those moments.

Bye bye, Alaska.

Or should I say, see you later!

I started this journey with a Mohawk. Ha! I never really wanted a Mohawk. Until I saw “the girl with a dragon tattoo”. Now I want to be her. Funny. And sad.

Now I have a short haircut in the back with it getting longer and longer towards the front. I think I was inspired by all the Thai and Cambodian boys. Just to be honest.

My last day in Amsterdam. It feels fake. This whole thing does. But it happened. I’m so proud of myself. I did exactly what I wanted everyday of this trip. Wellll. Maybe I didn’t want to drink 11 shots of horrible plum-based Czech liquor. But I did it. I conquered that mountain. Bleh!

I never. Ever. Read books. My mom and dad never read books. So I never did. Except for hatchet. I love that book. However. On this trip. I finished not one! But two! Books. One was really hot and erotic. The other. Funny and insightful.

Yesterday was valentines day. I could honestly care less. Yes. I have a significant other. But it doesn’t matter much to me. I did. However. Eat an entire box of chocolates. That’s two boxes since my ten day return to Amsterdam. Damn I’m lazy.

Throughout this trip. I was always afraid of running out of money. It never happened! I still have $700 to live on when I get back to America! I even managed to get every person from my immediate family a gift or two.

I also managed to get myself some things I really like. As follows:

•My German haircut
•Jeans from Berlin
•Cambodian Silk Bracelet
•Many other bracelets
•A roman numerals ring from Prague
•A Nike Prague shirt
•Secretly Bound (Book) from A’Dam
•I was told there’d be cake (Book) ^
•Bench hoody and hat from Berlin
•Rainbow magnet from Berlin
•A whole new spiffy outfit, vest and all
•Volcom hat
•Rainbow Serong
•Amsterdam hat

And so much more.
Plus gifts for lots of my friends.
Pipes, shirts, hats, stash boxes, lighters. Lots of stuff!

And I started this adventure with 6k. For 3 months of Europe and south east Asia.

Damn, I feel good.
But I’m so excited to go home. However. First I will go meet my mothers new husband and stay with my brother in Seattle for 3 days.

Stoked. On. Life.

In 2009. I was in a band. The Pebble Mind. I was the drummer predominantly. However I played guitar on about three songs.

It’s just funny thinking back to those days.

That summer was my first whole summer back in Alaska since 2006. I went from living with my eldest brother to living with a house full of lesbians. One straightish girl. And a beautiful baby. Oh! And a little scraggly dog! I guess I should specify, only two lesbians. One very bi bisexual. And the straightish girl.
We all turned 21 that summer. I had quit smoking Mary Jane for the first time since I had started when I was…. 15/16. I quit simply to prove to myself I could. I had never tried before and I had heard it was hard. Meh. It’s all about control. Controlling yourself and making good choices. Like, life, really…
So I quit for 6 months. I think I wanted to make it until Halloween. Then I decided one day. I want to smoke. So I did. And it was good :)

We drank heavily on a certain someone’s 21st birthday. Maybe because she was the last one. I remember puking out the cab trying not to get it in my hair. We smoked at night. After we were all off work and had made dinner. Maybe some home-made Lemondrop Martinis. Game night. Furniture re-arrangements. Secret fights. Crying. Painting. Lots of cigarette smoking. Porch talks. Tarot cards. (… I forgot about the tarot cards… One that I thought seriously was telling the future. Wow. Heavy, yeah?)

Shroom nights. Full of coloring. Finger painting. LOTR. Alice in Wonderland. Björk pandora. Crazy half naked bonding in a bed moments. Sex. Lots of sex. Then searching for a bowl to fall asleep to.

My life will be just as I decide it to be.

Right now, I’m happy. And that’s what I have ALWAYS said I have wanted to be when “I grew up”. Well. I think I’m done growing. As far as body. But my mind is always growing. So I may never grow up. I think that may be a good thing! :)

Sometimes. Even if you live with somebody. It’s scary to “move” with them. Scary. But not really. I don’t know. It’s just a huge step in a relationship. My first instinct is to say yes! And I did that. But then, my stomach and brain start spinning. The anticipation of it all. I guess….

Like before this journey to wherever I just took. That I’m currently on. And ending. I acted on a first instinct to buy my ticket. And I bought it. 7 am at Kaladi Brothers on a saturday morning. Working with Mel. I bought a RT ticket from Newark, NJ to Amsterdam, NL. $888 was the price.

As the time came closer to leave… I prepared myself. But was so nervous and had that brain spinning. Stomach in a knot. Thing. Blergh.

Even when I landed here. I was immediately in awe. Not so much of where I was. But just in myself. It was a really weird “high” feeling I felt. Seriously like my feet were hovering centimeters above the ground.

…
To be cont’d
…

I’m listening to Julia Stone’s song “What’s wrong with me?”